Go Find Something Else
To the girl in the difficult relationship, to the man at the dead-end job, to the mom that gave up on her dreams, to the person who feels stuck and is just unhappy - this is for you.
All of our lives, we’re told to “do what makes you happy” but what they really mean is “do what makes you happy as long as it makes you oodles of money, feeds your kids, saves the turtles, and doesn’t negatively affect me or anyone else.” That’s not happiness, that’s ‘sit down, shut up, and do as you’re told’. That’s BS.
Happiness should feel weightless. It should give you a sense of freedom and peace. No guilt, no shame, no inadequacy. Happiness is a feeling that can be derived from many different places: your job, your relationships, friends and family, and most importantly, yourself.
You are solely responsible for your own happiness. No one is going to hand over your happiness on a silver platter, you are in charge of that. With that responsibility, you have the power to choose and change.
Relationship bringing you down? Go find something else.
Job is causing more stress than it’s worth? Go find something else.
Decided you hate the career path you’re on? Go find something else.
Don't like where you live? Go find something else.
Now, am I telling you to dump your boyfriend, quit your job, and move across the country? No, not exactly (although I fully support you if that’s what you want!). What I am saying is stop engaging with things/people that no longer bring you happiness - go find something else!
If you’re like me, you care about your perception to people (i.e. looking like you have it all together) but what I’ve had to learn is that ‘those people’ do not care - at all. The only person that cares about your perception is you. And you have control over that. So let it go, stop worrying so much, life is way too short to be unhappy and it is definitely too short to be worried about what other people think of you.
Let’s pump the brakes a little - before you flip your life upside down, think about what you truly want out of this life. Where do you want to be? Who do you want to be with? What do you want to be doing? I suggest physically going somewhere that you can be alone and ask yourself these questions. Answer them honestly, without regard for anyone else. This is your life, you get to decide what you want! I know you can’t just walk out of your job or sell your house tomorrow but you can start planning for your dream life and live in that mindset.
My personal experience:
I absolutely detested the person I was with a few years ago, but we lived together, so I couldn’t exactly break up with him and then go home to my house - I had to plan for it. I ended up living there for 2 months while I arranged for another place to live. Admittedly, I didn’t like living a double life for that time period but I knew it had to be done for my well being. And now, I am in the happiest relationship that I dreamed of, because I decided to find something else. If you want more details on this, read my last blog post here!
Just a few months ago, I left a very toxic workplace* and joined a local venue that I adore. I had been looking for a new job for over 6 months before I finally found where I’m at now. I even turned down an offer that would have been a 35% raise because I knew it wouldn’t bring me happiness. Now I have a more flexible schedule, a better work-life balance, and coworkers that are uplifting.
*-because of this job, I met a very influential person that has opened new and exciting doors for me. Opportunities that I’ll be able to share with y’all very soon!
I write all of this to say that some things take time and careful planning, but they are always worth it. Because your happiness is worth it. YOU are worth it. So stop wasting energy on things that do not bring you happiness, go find something else!
Thank you so much for reading my blog, it really does mean the world to me! If you want to chat, learn more about my experience, or just meet up for coffee - please send me a message! I would love to connect with you.
With love,
Thank you to Gina, for always being kind and unknowingly giving me this blog topic!